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Ask The Genie

After eons of granting wishes this genie is still amazed at what a hit-and-miss affair gift giving can be. Now that granting wishes has gone on-line the job is getting easier, but by no means fool proof. On this page we explore some of the pitfalls in giving and receiving gifts. We explore the emotions involved in both sides of the exchange of generosity. We bring back the magic.

The Genie loves to learn more so there is a comments section for you to leave a note about a good or bad gift giving experience, or for great gift giving ideas that have inspired you.

Case Studies

The Genie provides monthly case studies. This month, Genie focuses on the things that money can't buy. Do you want Genie to focus on your problem? Ask the genie in our comments section below.

The art of gift giving

The impulse to give and receive gifts is hardwired across all tribes and cultures. At its simplest it is generosity, a joyful giving to express our love and admiration. Nothing is expected in return other than an acknowledgment of our giving, and the hope that our gift will bring joy to the person we love and admire. This is in fact happening all around us every day so often that we take it for granted.

So if love and generosity abound, why can gift giving become such a chore? The answer to this question is probably as complex as human nature itself, but let's try to find some simple explanations:

  • Expectations: The giver expects that their gift will be valued and that they will be given love and admiration in return. The receiver expects that the giver will have taken the trouble to find a gift that the receiver will value.
  • Measurements: Both giver and receiver are measuring things like love, respect, and value without any common measuring stick. If love came by the kilo or value by the metre, measuring these qualities would be easy. But we all judging the giving and receiving by our own individual value systems. If only we could stop judging the value of things and enjoy the moment of generosity for itself.
  • Resources: Few of us have unlimited amounts of money and no one has unlimited amounts of time. Physical constraints like lack of mobility, illness or a lack of imagination also limit our ability to give or receive gifts.
  • Complexity: Just about all of us have received a gift that has left us perplexed. "What were they thinking?" is a common reaction to a mismatched gift. If I have holes in my socks you may think that socks may be the perfect gift. I may react with "why do they give me socks when what I would really love is something beautiful like a bouquet of flowers" On the other hand, a bouquet of flowers may elicit the reaction "Why do they give me flowers when I am so poor that I have holes in my socks". We have complex needs and desires and our needs are not always our desires.

CONSIDER MAKING A WISH LIST AT TODAYIWISH.COM. If you list a variety of wishes and don't forget the 'things that money can't buy' section you will be making it easier for friends and family to meet your expectations and give you something that you value. If you include easy to find items it will be useful for people with limited resources.

  • Priorities: Life is full of distractions. We start a new job and spend all our savings on looking the part. We get married; have babies, save for school fees. We spend more than we should on that new car or mobile phone and soon we are under a mountain of debt and struggling to get out from under it. There are any number of events that can take our attention away from valuable relationships.
  • Cultural influences: In our wonderfully diverse world gift giving is universal, but often constrained by cultural expectations. Expensive wedding celebrations for 300 guests, a large dowry or bridal gift, ritual gift giving to mark religious celebrations can all lead to generosity becoming stale. Gift giving can become a burden rather than something joyful. Advertising can also be a strong cultural influence. There is always the "perfect" gift that we should spend ever increasing money to obtain. Unrealistic expectations lead to disappointment and generosity fatigue.

ASK YOUR FRIEND TO MAKE A WISH LIST at Todayiwish.com. You will learn so much about them. You can share the joy when you know that your gift is valued.

Genie Says: "Remember to take a look at my gift ideas. I've recently add a section on pets for presents/presents for pets!"


What's New at Today I Wish?   Ask Genie: Sending gifts by post   Sagittarius Gift Ideas   Other Star Sign Gift Ideas




Hear what people say to the genie

trenton
I wish I could meet Dillon Sprouce

 

ISSAC AMAMO
i wish to have peoples from outside writing to me 4 friendship
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CHARLES JENKINS
I love to give,but now i wish i had enough money to reunite my son and i and grandson in DALLAS Texas.
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ami mavani
Hi, me and my husband seprate for very small reasons i dont know how to prove my innocence? i want him back as i love him and he loves me too. plz pray for us
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josh
i wish i i coud have real sideburns so give me elvis sideburns and elvis hair long

 
 

USHA
Fact of life-Never get too Attached to anyone, because Attachements always lead to Expectation And Expectations always lead to disappointment...
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Ma.katherine S.crisostomo
hello genie comand me a new celphoneand a new dresshouse
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rich yates
I wish things could be like they was with lauren
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Sangeeta
I am and live in harmony and balance with myself and everyone else.

 

Mikhail
I wish I was mentally healthy.

 

Archie Huang
Everything goes well with my interview tomorrow
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jordan
iwish i had 3 psp's 30 games,i was magic i dont have go to my mom's house

 

Janeen
I wish to astral travel and I wish my husband to get a high salary job,

 

Francheska
I wish to look like the girl i Imagine i should look like.

 

ramsey bouaazzi
I wish i meet T.O tommorrow

 

Ken
I wish I had the powers I always wanted on my fingertips.

 

paul
i wish i have a cell phone

 
 

William Tomberlain
i wish to have a cell phone
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Dooky
I wish someone would call my phone.

 

erica
I Wish to be areal Mermaid.......please

 

abcd
i wish my class at school wil like ma as i am and that they wil forget everything i was saying friday before holiday for ever......i wish tha me and my sister wil be smart in everything for ever i wish that my parents wil buy 2 puppies for as as we like please please please......

 

EDWIN JOSEPH HEURTELOU JR
I WISH I WAS A ALL POWERFUL SORCERER AND I HAD ETERNAL LIFE. NO HARM WOULD COME TO ME. I WANT TO BE 17 FOR EVER AS A SORCERER. I COULD GRANT MY OWN WISHS BY CLAPPING MY HANDS AND IT WOULD COME TRUE. I ALSO HAD THE POWERS AS GOD, SORCERER, AND ANY POWERFUL THING . I WANT TO BE A JINX. THE MOST PART IS THAT EVERY WISH THAT I MAKE COME TRUE BECAUSE IT NEVER COMES TRUE. I LIVE IN BROOKLYN IN NEWYORK. ZIP CODE IS 11211 AND I AM 17.

 

jahnae mcrae
i wish i canbe a mermaid buy the moring plz

 

Ostrich!
I wish i could find the perfect present for my bestfriend!! XD

 

blessy varghese
I wish i have a diamond and ruby necklace.

 

rajwinder kaur
i wish i will pass my pre-entrance exam tht i took on last friday 8/21/09.

 

dimond
I wish to be a millioner and merry my lover!

 

joshua
i wish i can make my own wishes come true by saying what i want and then i just clap my hands and theese wishes never run out and i wish i can run at supersonic speed
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mzduval
i wish my life will be better net year than it is now n that i wil be lucker n happi n find sumone dats right n all dat stuff in my lyfe..

 

michelle G. montez
I wish to be Kristen Stewart the one that play as bella swan today to be with Robert Pattinson in till summer strat. I wish to be Krisren Stewart

 

Alyssa
i wish for 111,000 billon wishes.

 

thaina
i wish me and jeff can get back together and i wish i can get w.e i want and i can do w.e i want

 

GAY
i wish i could live in a boat with homer simpson and Tom Booth xD

 
 

Kimberly
I wish I could move back to San Jose and be able to go to Lawson Middle School again. I wish that me and my friends will never be seperated and we will live through life together. I wish that my mom can find a job so we wouldn't have to struggle with money or live in someone else's house. I wish I could undo all the stupid things I did in the past. I wish I was a good girl so my mom didn't have to send me to Georgia. I wish I could turn back the wheels of time...and start over. I wish, I wish, I wish.
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Brianna
I wish I could be very popular to everyone at school

 

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